The Wound That Will Never Heal
by Apollo199199
Summary: First of the Spike Jackson Series: The aftermath of Season Nine's Ethon has a profound effect on Daniel's 13 years old brother. Please Review! :


**The Wound That Will Never Heal**

_**A Tribute To Colonel Lionel Pendergast of the Earth's First Interstellar Vessel **_

"_**The Prometheus"**_

_**May He Rest In Peace**_

"_**Spike?" Colonel Pendergast said in a stoic voice.**_

"_**Yes Colonel?"**_

"_**Tell my wife…that…if love was enough…I'd still be here. Tell her that."**_

_**With those last words, Spike watched in horror as the Prometheus exploded in pieces.**_

Major Spike Randy Jackson stood at the memorial service of Colonel Lionel Pendergast and the 39 dead crewmembers of the _Prometheus_. He hated this kind of things, even though he has been to these kinds of services for over eight years since the SGC waged the long war against the Goa'uld, it still bothered him, he was only 13 after all, but he had seen too much, that he had to admit. Spike knew Pendergast for more than 6 years, and not to mention of the many trips he had had aboard the _Prometheus, _it was like Spike's second home and the Colonel had always treated him like a part of the family. He saw the Colonel's wife and his kids all crying hard, and then he felt a tap on his shoulder. Spike turned around and saw one of the guards; in his hands were the nicely folded US flag. 'Oh right,' Spike thought dully, 'I'm suppose to present the flag." He took the flag from the guard and hesitantly walked to the Pendergast family. Mrs. Pendergast is a woman of small statue but with poise in her manner that you somehow can't forget. Her children, the 11 year-old twins Leo and Lara clung to each other for comfort.

Spike stood in front of the family, took a deep breath, and said in a soft and gentle voice, " Mrs. Pendergast?" All of the sudden, the whole family's eyes were on him. The lady lifted up her head, Spike saw her eyes were red with tears.

" Yes?" She looked at Spike questionably

" There really is no easy way to say this, but um…" For some reason, Spike just couldn't say the words, 'No!' his mind yelled defiantly, 'Saying it will only be admitting that he will never come back again.' Spike glanced at the family in front of him, could he really say it? Admitting to the truth that he will never look upon the Colonel's face again? But it's the truth isn't?

" Do you have something to say?" Asked the son Leo.

" Colonel Pendergast was a good man, he died saving his crew, 76 people are alive today because of him,"

Then Spike got to his knees and spoke softly to the children, " Your father was as heroic as the knights you always hear about in fairy tales, don't ever forget about him. If anyone asks what your father did or how he died… don't….well… just be proud and tell them that he was a good commander who took care of his people, and a lot of them are alive because of his courage, integrity, and his attitude of never to give up."

Spike managed a small smile at the twins and then held out the folded flag to Mrs. Pendergast. " I'm really sorry this is all we can bring you, I had the privilege of knowing the Colonel and he taught me many things. He often talks of you a lot and he… he wanted me to tell you that…that if love was enough….he'd…he'd still be here." Mrs. Pendergast burst into tears and hugged the flag tightly. Spike turned around and slowly walked away, keeping his emotions in check. How many times had he seen his friends die on the battlefield? How many times had he been presenting the flags to the families who will never see their loved ones? How many times has it been already? Countless times, and each time Spike find it harder to do. No matter how many friends he had lost, it never gets any easier. Spike walked up to the tombstone with the engravings:

_**Colonel Lionel Pendergast **_

_**United States Air Force**_

_**Loving Husband and Caring Father**_

_**June 16, 1954- February 9, 2006**_

Spike kneeled down and smiled, " Good Job, Colonel. You know I'm going to miss you." He looked down at his hands, stifled back a tear, and then lifted his head back up again, " Tell me Colonel, how do I say good bye again? How do I do it?" Without a warning, tears ran down Spike's cheek freely. He had always wondered when he was going to reach a breaking point, how many more deaths will it take to break through his armor. Spike felt someone behind him, he turned back to see Daniel looking down at him with a sadness in his eyes. Daniel got to his knees and they hugged, for the first time since he had joined the SGC, Spike cried and cried, with despair in his heart that he knew Colonel Pendergast had walked out of his life forever. He had cried like this when Daniel died almost 4 years ago, but even then, he knew somehow Daniel was going to come back.

Spike finally broke the silence, " You don't know he means so much to you, until you're never going to see him again."

Daniel ruffled Spike's hair and spoke tearfully, " He did good…he did good. It'll be better in time"

Spike knew this all along, there are some things time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold. He wasn't ready to say good-bye to Colonel Pendergast, and he never will be.


End file.
